FANS ALL DAY
Christmas time! Real stinky slate of Christmas Day games, but the weekend games look much more interesting (at least on paper). Hoping for no more lumps of coal this weeknd!
Week 16 Record: 12-4
Season Record: 112-125-5
Football on Saturday night! We like you, we like you a lot! Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!
Week 15 Record: 6-10
Season Record: 100-121-5
Last week was a real stinky one. Going to keep it simple this week, but there are lots of excellent games on the slate, including Bills and Pats, Chargers and Chiefs, and Green Bay at Mile High.
Picks are in bold below! Enjoy the games!
Week 14 Record: 4-10
Season Record: 94-111-5
Another week, another chance to cash tickets. Week 14 brings several tightly lined matchups, plenty of playoff implications, and a handful of spreads begging to be attacked. Below is a full breakdown of each matchup —with analysis to match.
Let’s get into it!
Dallas catching 3.5 on the road is a spot worth targeting. The Cowboys’ pass rush matches up well against Detroit’s protection, and Dallas has the playmakers to exploit Detroit’s secondary for explosive gains. If this turns into a high-tempo game—which it likely will—Dallas has the firepower to keep up and potentially control the second half.
Prediction: Cowboys cover and are live to win outright.
Buffalo has been one of the league’s strongest home teams, and their defense tends to tighten up in Orchard Park. Cincinnati’s inconsistency on the road makes the Bills the lean here, especially if this turns into a possession-battle style game.
Prediction: Bills by a touchdown.
Indianapolis laying a point and a half on the road shows how much respect this matchup deserves. The Colts have been the more consistent team lately, particularly in the trenches, where their offensive line has been creating clean lanes and protecting well. Jacksonville’s offense has been too volatile to trust, especially against a Colts defense that thrives on forcing mistakes.
Prediction: Colts win and cover the -1.5.
Under a field goal feels like value. Even in tough defensive matchups, Miami has enough explosiveness to generate big plays. The Jets’ offensive inconsistency makes it hard to back them unless they’re catching more than a field goal.
Prediction: Dolphins win by 4–7.
Tampa Bay laying nearly nine suggests a talent and momentum mismatch, and that passes the eye test. The Bucs have been much more consistent offensively, while the Saints continue to fluctuate week-to-week.
Prediction: Bucs cruise and cover.
Baltimore at home is one of the safest spots in football. Their physical style tends to overwhelm Pittsburgh unless the Steelers force turnovers. If this stays a clean game, Baltimore should win by a score or more.
Prediction: Ravens win by 7–10.
Getting nearly a touchdown at home makes Atlanta a live dog. Seattle has struggled to string together consistent road performances, and the Falcons’ ball-control offense can shorten the game.
Prediction: Falcons keep it close and cover.
Cleveland at home is tough, and their defensive front should have the advantage. Tennessee’s offense has been up-and-down, especially away from home, giving the Browns a clear path to winning by at least four.
Prediction: Browns cover the 3.5.
Minnesota getting points at home is always tempting. Even in a transitional year, the Vikings have remained competitive in tight games. Washington’s pass defense is vulnerable to any well-structured aerial attack, which Minnesota can provide.
Prediction: Vikings win outright.
Denver laying eight on the road signals just how far apart these two teams are right now. The Broncos’ defense has tightened significantly, and their offense has found rhythm in both the run and play-action game. Las Vegas has struggled to sustain drives, and their offensive inconsistency makes it tough to see them keeping pace if Denver jumps ahead early. With the Broncos controlling the tempo and winning the field-position battle, this sets up as a spot where Denver can pull away late.
Prediction: Broncos win comfortably and cover the -8.0.
A bold pick, but justified if you believe in Chicago’s defensive improvements. Green Bay has had trouble protecting leads, and the Bears have been competitive even in Lambeau recently.
Prediction: Bears cover; this could be a 3–4-point game.
The Rams have the firepower to win big, and Arizona’s defense often crumbles against well-schemed offenses. Even at +10, the Cardinals haven’t shown enough consistency to trust.
Prediction: Rams by double digits.
Houston catching four on the road against Kansas City suggests faith in the Texans’ ability to keep up offensively—and that’s fair. Their young offense can push the Chiefs into a shootout, where KC has shown vulnerability.
Prediction: Texans cover and keep it tight throughout.
Philadelphia laying less than a field goal feels like a strong spot. The Eagles hold a clear advantage at the line of scrimmage, and their ability to dominate time of possession should limit the Chargers’ big-play opportunities. Los Angeles has continued to struggle in late-game situations, and Philly’s physicality tends to wear down opponents as the game progresses. With their balanced offense and defensive pressure, the Eagles are well-positioned to control this matchup.
Prediction: Eagles win and cover the -2.5.
Week 13 Record: 8-7-1
Season Record: 90-101-5